Scott Stevens

By Scott Stevens

LifeBuzz User

20 Ways People Accidentally Sabotage Their Own Happiness.

6. Stop learning new things. – As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Life is a book and those who do not gradually educate themselves read only a few pages. Truly, life’s richness does not come from always residing within familiar territory. It’s when you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more capable. You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, challenges, and experiences. Your own perspective will grow stronger when you look at things from different perspectives. Find ways to provide a healthy challenge to your current understanding of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s magic throughout your lifetime.

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7. Never speak up. – You have every right to speak up and let your thoughts be heard. People will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it; he hasn’t given you the time of day because you haven’t given him the time of day either. In life, you have to communicate. And oftentimes, you have to open your mouth and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. And you will likely be pleasantly surprised when you do, because most people love straightforward people – it makes life ten times easier.

8. Resist the past and deny the truth. – There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away. But I also know that if I somehow could roll it back, all the joy I’ve experienced would be gone as well. And the reality is, I can’t change the past anyway. No one can. The past must be accepted. When you accept the past, regardless of how painful, you allow yourself to grow and heal. For example, if someone breaks your heart, it’s not easy to deal with. But you can heal, as long as you’re willing to accept the circumstances and then gradually let them go. You may catch yourself thinking, “Why did I ever love him? I should never have given him my heart!” But that’s not a helpful thought. If you didn’t love him, your heartbreak never would have happened. But you did love him. That’s reality. And accepting that reality, and everything that followed, is part of letting it go and growing from it. You don’t get to choose what is true. You only get to choose what you do about it.

9. Let one failed relationship convince you to not give anyone else a chance. – Every wrong relationship leads to the right one. If you can love the wrong person so much, imagine how much you’ll love the right one. Every heartbreak presents an opportunity to grow into an improved version of yourself. Great love shakes us up, excites and terrifies us simultaneously, while making us feel so desperate and out of control that we have no choice but to transform our lives. When it leaves us, we can choose to become bitter or to become better. Will you become stronger and wiser with an increased ability to love? Or will you miss the gift? One day someone will come into your life and make you see why it didn’t work out with anyone else. Until then, use every chance you get to grow into the kind of person they couldn’t imagine living without.

10. Don’t forgive yourself. – Is it possible that all the “bad” or “foolish” things you’ve done have been forgiven and forgotten by everyone who matters in your life, except you? Think about that for a moment. And if you can’t reconcile things with yourself, or you don’t feel ready to talk it out with someone else, write it down. Write your heart out! So often when we’re feeling guilty we’re in a state of denial. We’ve denied, trivialized or distorted our own experiences and feelings. Writing is an important path for healing because it gives you the opportunity to sort out your thoughts and define your own reality. You can say: “This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was a terrible mistake. I’ve grown from it. I was – and am – worthy of my own love and forgiveness.”

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