20 Ways People Accidentally Sabotage Their Own Happiness.
11. Let someone convince you that you don’t deserve another chance. – Some people like passing guilt and blame on to others for no reason at all. Beware of this phenomenon. Because it’s strange the way someone who wants to play the blame game and find you guilty can pass judgments, tell fake stories, and actually make you believe in your own guilt, even when you know you’re innocent (or deserve forgiveness). So whatever you do, don’t condemn yourself just to satisfy other people’s drama. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
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12. Take everything personally. – What people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them. I’m not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback. I am saying that so much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally. In most cases it’s far more effective and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
13. Seek support from the wrong sources. – Think for a moment… If you were craving pizza, would you go to a Japanese sushi bar? No! Because you know they don’t serve pizza at a Japanese sushi bar. In fact, they wouldn’t even have the right ingredients to make a pizza even if they were willing to customize a special order for you. If you really wanted pizza, you would simply go to an Italian restaurant that serves it, right? Now think about the people you go to when you’re craving support, reassurance, guidance, healthy feedback, or simply a loving, listening ear. Do you go to people who are consistently able to dish out what you are hungry for? Or do you go to people who don’t have what you need on their menu, and thus find yourself endlessly discouraged and disappointed? Bottom line: It’s time to align your hunger with where you dine.
14. Passionately hate people. – Everyone you hate rents permanent space in both your head and heart. So if you want to eliminate someone from your mind, don’t hate. Instead, forgive, disconnect yourself and move forward. And remember that getting even doesn’t help you get ahead. You will never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with them. Sometimes we don’t forgive people because they deserve it – we forgive them because they need it, because we need it, and because we can’t move forward without it. To forgive is to rediscover the inner peace and purpose that at first you thought someone took away when they mistreated you.
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15. Completely neglect yourself in the process of loving others. – You are always your best long-term investment. Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act, it is a self-honoring one. You can exhaust yourself looking for someone else who is more deserving of your love and respect than yourself and you will not find that person anywhere. If you’ve been neglecting yourself lately, take a vow of self-love today and say, “I do” to YOU! And remember, there is also incredible selflessness in your self-love. Because you can’t give what you don’t have – enrich your life and you’ll be life-giving to others.
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