14 Weird Beauty Procedures That Prove Your Grandmother Would Try ANYTHING.
Beauty is pain.
It's one of the most common and accurate cliches, and most of you ladies have heard that said at least once in your lifetime: Whether it was from your mother kicking off her heels in an exasperated sigh, your sister plucking her eyebrows and trying not to weep, or your best friend accidentally poking herself in the eye with a mascara wand after one or two glasses of wine.
Beauty is pain.
However, as history and these photos can show us, beauty is not only pain: It's a lot of other really bad things, too.
Beauty is terrifying.
Beauty is uh, kind of dangerous?
Beauty is the stuff of nightmares.
Beauty will forever haunt your immortal soul.
Scared yet? You will be in a minute. Take a look at these photos of beauty procedures and tools from the 30's and 40's, but try not to shriek in horror: Shrieking definitely causes fine lines.
#1. The Freckle Freezer
No, this isn't a scene from a torture-thriller. This is a machine that was once used to "freeze" off people's freckles using carbon dioxide. The patient's eyes, nose, and mouth had to be covered, forcing them to breathe through a tube during the procedure.
Time and Life pictures / Getty Images
#2. The Giant Blow-Drier
Blow-driers aren't scary in theory, but something about these gigantic driers pointed at this woman's face like canons leaves us feeling slightly unnerved. They also look like they might come alive and blow-dry her head off at any moment.
#3. The Hair Waver
This is a rudimentary perming machine, but instead of "soft waves," the image we are getting is "unsanctioned brain experiment."
#4. The Absolutely Unacceptable Make-Up Applicator
Though he was a legend and innovator within the beauty industry, Max Factor created this device, and it is truly horrifying. We're not sure how it works exactly, but something tells us that one wrong move would mean the end of your beauty routine - and your life.
#5. The Not Okay, Not Fine At All Beauty Mask
This 1940's electric mask was electric, and could be plugged in to heat the face. The initial goal was stimulated circulation and fresher, clearer skin, but what the product succeeded at best was making children terrified of their mothers.
Everett collection / Re
#6. The Slenderizer
Slenderizing salons were popular in the forties, and different salons had different approaches to weight loss. One tactic was this slenderizing machine, which claimed to help you lose weight through extended massage via metal rollers. Finally, a product that actually works! And by "works" we mean "is incredibly uncomfortable and terrible and does not make you lose any weight at all."
Alfred Eisenstaedt /Time & Life pictures /Getty Images
#7. The Still Not Okay, Still Not Fine At All Beauty Mask
Helena Rubinstein was a cosmetic entrepreneur with salons all over the country, which made her one of the richest women of her time. Unfortunately, Rubinstein's wealth did not prevent her from creating this mask-related beauty treatment. This photo begs the disturbing question: Why is the person applying the treatment ALSO wearing a mask?
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