Lisa Be

By Lisa Be

LifeBuzz Staff

25 Things People DON’T Do In A Healthy Relationship. #12 Is Crucial.

#9. They don’t hold hateful grudges. It’s a good time, right now, for letting go. Let’s not drag angst into tomorrow. Let’s regroup, make amends where we can, and move on. Make peace with people as much as you are able. Even if forgiveness doesn’t equal reconciliation, lay down the sword and let it be. Life is too short.

#10. They don’t focus on the unchangeable past. Sometimes happiness in relationships amounts to making peace with something that can’t be fixed. Sometimes you let it go, and sometimes you hold it broken. It amounts to forgiveness in any case.

#11. They don’t expect their loved ones to always be strong. Sometimes people let us down because they can’t hold us up. “I can’t carry you” doesn’t mean, “I don’t love you.” It may simply mean, “I’m struggling too.”

#12. They don’t focus on people’s flaws. Do your best to maintain sincere love in your heart for others. The more you see the good in them, the more good you will uncover in yourself.

#13. They don’t give out of obligation, or because they want to be paid back. Do something special for someone you love, and for a stranger today. Do it because you can and because it makes the world a happier place. Always give more than you take. When you shift your attitude from “how can I gain” to “how can I give,” you’ll be amazed at the gifts you receive. Truth be told, the most successful people in the most successful relationships are looking for ways to help others. The most unsuccessful people are still asking, “What’s in it for me?”

#14. They don’t take their relationships for granted. An incredible thing happens when you pay close attention. It’s by participating more in your relationships that you breathe life into them. So make time for those you care about. With our busy schedules we often forget to relax and enjoy the great company we have. In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.

#15. They don’t just show up when times are good. Be there through the good, bad, happy, and sad times… no matter what. Be willing to provide a listening ear, a hug, and emotional support in all circumstances. In a healthy relationship, both people can trust that they can count on each other, and are willing to be available not only when it’s convenient, but when they need each other the most.

#16. They don’t try to constantly “fix” the people they care about. The art of caring for another is rooted in love and respect. It means listening to them wholeheartedly and letting them know by your complete presence that they are seen and valued. It’s not a space where you try to fix the other person. It’s about being witness to the totality of another human being. (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

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