By Leilani

LifeBuzz Staff

New Sex Survey Reveals What American’s REALLY Fantasize About.

About 95 percent of people have sexual fantasies. Dreaming up situations boost our libidos, or sex drives. While these fantasies can reflect some truths about you — social psychologist Gurit Birnbaum, for example says 'fantasies reflect how we cope with our insecurities and whether we want to promote intimacy or escape from it' — some of them couldn't be further from what we want in reality.

You might imagine having sex with an ideal lover or you might get wrapped in thoughts of having two or more lovers. You might imagine having sex with a member of the same sex, opposite sex, or someone transgender. Does this make you a liar? Does this make you queer? No, not necessarily. Some experts say that you may be bisexual if you have homosexual fantasies but another reason could be that you are 'seeking personal validation to break societal taboos.'

Additionally, if you have a few sexual fantasies about someone other than your partner, this is also considered normal. However if you never fantasize about your partner this could mean that your relationship is in danger.

While no amount of surveys could ever accurately reflect the purpose and frequency of sexual fantasies, current research does help up accept the normalcy of them. When we address them, we can have more control over them and possibly improve our personal and relational sexual healths.

Romance Remains Integral For Most People

For most people, or at least 88 percent of men and 92 percent of women in a 2014 study, romantic emotions remain at the center of their sexual fantasies.

Romance Remains Integral For Most People

Village Roadshow Pictures

Men: More Often and More Options

Men's fantasies are more active and aggressive than those of women. In a 2014 study, researchers presented 55 different fantasies to their subjects and in general, men were interested in more of them. When asked to describe their favorite fantasy, they provided detailed accounts.

Men: More Often and More Options


Women: More Personal and More Emotional

While there are times that women will fantasize about casual and explicit sexual encounters, many of their fantasies are romantically and emotionally charged.

Fantasy Versus Reality

Women typically draw a fine line separating fantasy from reality. In many cases, this can lead to some extreme and imaginative fantasies, most of which they would never want to carry out in real life.

Fantasy Versus Reality

The CW

Sexual Fantasies Related To Anxiety

Psychologist Gurit E. Birnbaum published an interesting report in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin based on 48 cohabiting couples, specifically how their sexual fantasies correlated with their personalities and feelings to each other.

They discovered that highly anxiously attached subjects use sexual fantasies to calm fears and threats to the relationship. This often involves pleasing their partner. Those with highly avoidant attachment styles turn to fantasizing about casual sex. And finally, those with secure attachment styles get lost in fantasies about romantic sex.

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