10 Tricks To Build Rapport With Anyone. I Love #9.
Robin Dreeke is head of FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program in the Counterintelligence Division. He taught his techniques of rapport building with agents, sales professionals, educators, and people all over the world.
Here’s some tips from the his book, It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone on how to connect with people.
#1. Establish artificial time constraints.
Have you ever been sitting in a bar, an airport, a library, or browsing in a bookstore when a stranger tried to start a conversation with you? Did you feel awkward or on your guard? The conversation itself is not necessarily what caused the discomfort. The discomfort was induced because you didn’t know when or if it would end. For this reason, the first step in the process of developing great rapport and having great conversations is letting the other person know that there is an end in sight, and it is really close.
Dreeke says to start the conversation with something like this: “I’m on my way out but before I left I wanted to ask you…” This way the person doesn’t feel trapped in a conversation with a total stranger because you’re letting them know that they it will be a quick conversation.
#2. Make sure your body language is in sync with what you are saying.
When you walk into a room with a bunch of strangers, are you naturally drawn to those who look angry and upset or those with smiles and laughing? Smiling is the number one nonverbal technique you should utilize to look more accommodating. In Dale Carnegie’s book, > How to Win Friends and Influence People, > it is principle number two of six.
Smiling will make you feel better and make others more at ease.
#3. Speak slow.
When individuals speak slowly and clearly, they tend to sound more credible than those who speak quickly.
Speak slow and clear and you will be easy to understand.
#4. Ask for help.
Have you ever felt a pang of guilt for turning down someone seeking help? I have personally found that there is no greater theme and tool for eliciting individuals for action, information, and a great conversation than the use of sympathy or assistance. Think for a moment about the times in your life when you have either sought assistance or been asked to provide it. When the request is simple, of limited duration, and non-threatening, we are more inclined to accommodate the request. As human beings, we are biologically conditioned to accommodate requests for assistance.
We naturally feel a connection to those who ask us for help.
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