Next Time You Are Faced With An Angry Person You MUST Remember These 7 Steps.
#3. “Please Speak More Slowly. I’d Like To Help.”
When a person won’t stop screaming, it’s difficult to resist the urge to tell them, well, stop. However, telling an enraged person to “stop screaming” might actually do more harm then good: When you’re angry, do you like to be told what to do? Instead of stoking the flames with a command, try to politely ask the other person to slow the pace of their speaking, by asking them to “please speak more slowly” or “please slow down so I can understand what you’re trying to say.” Slowing the conversation down inevitably leads to a calmer environment. If the person is receptive, you can then follow up by asking them what you can do to help. This creates an environment of discourse rather than one of conflict.
#4. Ask “What Would You Like Me To Do?”
This step operates in tandem with step #3. Once all is calm, there has to be a way to push the conversation forward, and preferably one that doesn’t cause another spike in conflict. “When people are angry at you or attacking you,” Bernstein said, “It’s very easy to fight back or run away. What you really need to do is something that engages their brain.” When you ask someone “What would you like me to do,” it’s beneficial to the conversation in two ways. First, it helps start negotiations. It also helps affirm that you’re interested in the other person’s point of view, which can help the emotional party feel validated and ready to move forward.
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