If Historical Figures Had Instagram History Would Have Been A LOT Funnier.
History is one of the most exciting subjects. Former presidents who have majored in history include:
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Woodrow Wilson
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
- Richard Nixon
- George W. Bush
Maybe that doesn't excite you, but did you know that Martha Stewart, Conan O’Brien, Steve Carell were also history majors? Many people describe history as "boring", "dry", and "just too long". And yet, history is much more complex than the textbooks you read in high school. It's really about looking at the past in new ways, and providing a platform for those who have never had one. Historians do so through hours of research, a strong sense of compassion, and humor. The problem is that they wrap that humor in good taste, the kind that has seemed to expire over the years. That's why I decided to major in it myself - in hopes to catch what's left of it.
History is now being honored in a very entertaining way - through histagrams. Histagrams reflect what significant figures throughout history would have said if they had today's technology. Even if you aren't so much of a history buff, you'll find these references not just important but wildly entertaining. Yes, history is pretty wild.
#1. William Shakespeare (1564-1616), English Poet, Playwright, Actor, and Businessman
At 18, William Shakespeare married 26-year-old Anne Hathaway (no, not that one). Some scholars contend that the 37 plays and 154 sonnets attached to his name are not in fact a product of his own writing. They claim that there is not enough evidence to link him to ownership. Stratfordians, those supporting him as the original author, argue that the existing evidence is enough. There is also some evidence indicating that Shakespeare was bisexual (though the term did not exist at the time). The controversy continues...
#2. Sir Isaac Newton (1643-1727), English Physicist
Though he could explain how gravity worked, Sir Isaac Newton was speculated to have died a virgin. There is no solid evidence supporting whether or not the apple actually hit him on the head.
#3. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821), French Military Leader and Emperor
Though of short stature (speculated at 5'2" but in fact just under 5'7"), Napoleon Bonaparte gained political control over post-revolutionary France by staging a coup d’état in 1799. He rebuilt Paris with canals, parks, and boulevards, and also founded the Napoleonic Code and a central banking system. Napoleon was most notable for being a brilliant military strategist; he successfully expanded his empire throughout Europe though at the cost of millions of lives. Napoleon was finally defeated by the Duke of Wellington and his allied army at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815.
#4. Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827), German Composer and Pianist
Beethoven's Für Elise (German for "For Elise") is one of the most widely recognized and play compositions today, but it was published well after the artist's death. Beethoven attended primary school but could not continue due to his family's financial constraints. Though he could not multiply, he is famous for creating the blueprint for Romantic composition without completely abandoning the fundamental stylistic language laid out by the Classical Era.
#5. Charles Darwin (1809-1882), British Naturalist
Darwin was known for shocking the Victorian public when he stated that animals and humans had a common ancestry in his theory of evolution. Here he is - proud of the origin of species.
#6. Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906), Women's Rights Activist
In 1868, Susan B. Anthony joined forces with Elizabeth Cady Stanton to create The Revolution, a weekly publication for women's rights, and in 1869, the two women founded the National Woman Suffrage Association. Three years later, she voted in the presidential election, which at the time was illegal, and was fined $100, which she never paid.
#7. Albert Einstein (1879-1955), Theoretical Physicist
In addition to thinking up algebraic formulas, Albert Einstein also had many affairs. Elsa was his cousin and second wife.
#8. Adolf Hitler (1889-1945), Austrian-born Military Leader and Dictator of Nazi Germany
Adolf Hitler was rejected twice by Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts around the same time that his mother was dying from breast cancer. He was later responsible for the Holocaust - the mass murder of 6 million European Jews and other marginalized groups in the name of racial purity.
#9. Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962), American Actress and Model
Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, Marilyn Monroe grew to be one of the greatest Hollywood legends. A few facts you may not have known: she was Playboy's first centerfold, she spent her honeymoon with Joe DiMaggio in Japan, and she was close friends with Ella Fitzgerald. In fact, Monroe demanded that the owner of the Mocambo nightclub book Ella Fitzgerald as a performer; he had initially refused her because she was black.
#10. Rosa Parks (1913-2005), African American Civil Rights Activist
On December 1, 1955, a 42-year-old African American seamstress named Rose Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama. Her convictions helped spark a citywide boycott, bringing national attention to the problem of segregation. This incident was not pre-meditated. She stated that she was simply tired.
Next, historical selfies.