This Brutal Guide To Losing Weight Has Gone Viral For The Funniest Reason.
When it comes to weight loss, we are advised to look to health professionals and trainers for guidance, and we should. But those of us who have managed to lose weight for good know that half the battle is making the commitment. It's one thing to want to lose weight and another to acknowledge and accept the commitment that comes with it. When we don't realize this, we often crash diet or give up altogether.
Something that's helped is learning about success stories from the average person, someone who doesn’t study or promote good health for a living. It inspires us because it somehow feels more organic rather than advertised and reminds us that our goals are just within reach.
Inspired is exactly how we felt when we came across Aaron Bleyaert’s no nonsense Tumblr post titled 'How to Lose Weight in 4 Easy Steps.' Based in Los Angeles, Bleyaert leads a colorful life as an 'Assistant Nerd' and gamer on Conan O'Brien's segment Clueless Gamer. Just like you'll discover with most gamers that you'll meet, there's a lot more to this guy than meets the eye.
Below you will find his original and insightful post on how to lose weight.
Getting In Shape
I’ve spent the past year losing 80 lbs and getting in shape. A lot of people have been asking me how I did it; specifics like what diet I was on, how many times a week I worked out, etc etc. So I thought I’d just answer everyone’s questions by giving you guys step by step instructions on how you can achieve everything I have… IN JUST 4 EASY STEPS! Ready? Here we go!!!
This is a big one, and one that you’ve probably heard before. Every time you drink a beer, it’s like eating seven slices of bread. That’s a lot of bread!
This is especially true when you go out to eat at restaurants. A good trick to do is when your meal comes, cut it in half and right away ask for a takeout container, so that you can save the rest for later - and even better, if you start your meal out right by ordering lean meats and veggies, you’ll slim down in no time!
Have Your Heart Broken
And not just broken; shattered. Into itsy bitsy tiny little pieces, by a girl who never loved you and never will. Join the gym at your work. Start going to the gym regularly, and even though you don’t know that much about exercise and you’re way too weak to do pretty much anything but lift 5 lb weights and use the elliptical machines with the old people, do it until your sweat makes a puddle on the floor. Then go home and go to bed early and the next day do it again. And then again. And then again.
Listen to stories of your ex-girlfriend fucking around with gross and terrible people, stories from your friends who think they are doing you a favor. Go to the gym and make more puddles of sweat. Buy books. Learn about different muscle groups and how they work together. Start eating healthy. Learn about nutrition. Plan out your week of meals. Try to forget her.
After work one night, go up up up all the way to the top floor of the parking garage and walk all the way to the back. Look out at the twinkling lights of the skyscrapers of downtown Los Angeles and think about how every single one of those office lights represents a person. Try to imagine how they feel. What they’re doing right then; if they miss someone special, if they wonder if someone special misses them. Then realize that most of those lights are probably shining into offices with no one in them except for a custodian or two. Realize you are alone, that you are staring at no one. Turn your collar up against the cold and drive home to a meal of a single chicken breast and steamed vegetables. Go to sleep. Go back to work. Go to the gym. Sweat.
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