Here’s Everything You Should Have Before Turning 35, According To Twitter.
Getting older is funny. One day you wake up and you're sitting on your couch on a Friday night watching Netflix and getting ready for bed at 9:00. All of the things you enjoyed doing when you were in your twenties seem like nothing more than a distant memory. You spend more time avoiding your "friends" than actually answering the phone. When you finally answer, you act like your phone never rang at all. No more searching the city late at night looking for fun. Now all you do is search through the kitchen for food. If you're in your 30's or getting pretty close, here's what you need by the time you are 35, according to the funniest people on Twitter.
Honestly, who needs more than one pair of jeans?
They all look alike anyways. I feel like you might need more than four shirts though.
It's the same conversation every time.
"It's been too long. Let's hang out soon."
"I know. I miss the good times. Let's make plans for next weekend."
30 years later...
"He was a good man. I wish we would've hung out more."
Internet friends are definitely real friends.
They compliment your new glasses, suggest movies, and block you when they don't like your opinion.
"I have so much work to do. I never get to do anything anymore. Next time I'll definitely go."
Reality: You're sitting on the couch with your cat trying to get him to eat spaghetti.
There's no need to yell at it.
Throw out that fork and buy some plastic sporks. That's all you really need anyways.
Page 1 of 3Next ›