Woman Wrote A Note To The Thief Who Kept Stealing Her Car…
Two years ago, 32-year-old Dajah Beck's Honda Civic was stolen from her neighborhood in Portland. The thief abandoned her car 18 hours after it was stolen, and it was eventually impounded, costing her hundreds of dollars to retrieve.
Ever the planner, Beck knew that her car would probably be stolen again -- after all, it happened all the time in her neighborhood. That's when she decided to leave a note on the hood, an earnest plea to the hypothetical thief who might take her car for a spin. You can read her hysterical, brutally honest note in full below.
If you're reading this, you are probably stealing my car. I'm a nice person and likely would have given you a ride, but obviously we're past that.
I would love to afford a car that doesn't get stolen and burglarized all the time, but I'm broke and this is what I'm stuck with. So, you got me. Again.
You're not going to get into trouble for stealing my car. As long as you don't f*** around and kill a pedestrian, you'll just leave this somewhere and go about your business. Nobody investigates this tomfoolery.
One quick favor: please do not leave my car somewhere it will get towed. If I have to deal with one more f***ing impound lot holding my stolen sh***y Honda for ransom, I am going to lose my mind. And my car, because I can't afford to keep bailing it out of car jail. If I had any money I would just go buy a goddamned car that wasn't constantly getting stolen in the first place.
Please just leave my old piece of sh** car in a neighborhood or something. There's a note in this envelope; just stick it on the dash or under the wiper. A passerby will see it eventually and call me and then I can come get my car. No cops, no questions asked; I'm not even mad at you.
It's win-win: I don't have to deal with police reports, insurance claims, and tow trucks, and you don't have to feel like a jerk for ruining the month of a nice person.
There are countless safe places to leave this thing. Drive the car, take my first aid kit and emergency supplies in the trunk (my stereo is worthless) and just leave this motherf***er in front of someone's house when you're done with it.
Thank you. Enjoy your ride.
PS if you don't mind committing another misdemeanor tonight, feel free to go throw a brick through the window of (redacted) Towing in Vancouver. They are literally the f***ing worst. Thanks. Have a good night.
Next, more hilarious notes to thieves.