The other day a friend told me his girlfriend was being very quiet. He asked her what was wrong and she said “nothing.” He said he wasn’t worried. I had to show him this…
**#1. Fine.** This is the word used to end an argument when she is right and you better shut up. Don’t even say another word! **#2. Nothing.** If you ask her what’s wrong and she says nothing, then something is definitely wrong. Stay on your toes. Many arguments can start over “nothing” and then end with “fine.” Refer to #1. Note: If she says “no really, there’s nothing wrong” then she really means there’s nothing wrong. **#3. Loud sigh**. This is a non-verbal hint that you are being an idiot and she’s wondering why you are wasting time standing there and arguing about “nothing.” Refer to #2. **#4. Go ahead.** This is like a double dare and it’s definitely not permission. She wants you to make the right decision, so rethink what you are about to do! **#5. Don’t worry about it, I got it**. This means she’s asked you to do something several times and you didn’t so now she’s doing it herself. Uh-oh! This may result in you asking her later “what’s wrong” to which she will most likely respond “nothing.” Refer to #2. **#6. That’s okay.** This is a very dangerous warning signal. She’s will be thinking long and hard about how you will pay for what you did. **#7. Five minutes.** If she is getting ready this could mean 15-40 minutes, results may vary. But if you are watching the game, 5 minutes is exactly 300 seconds. **#8. Whatever.** This means go to hell. You’re in big trouble! You may even feel a chill in the air. **#9. Thanks**. She is thanking you. Don’t even question it, just say you’re welcome. But if she says “thanks A LOT” then that’s meant as sarcasm and you should definitely not say “you’re welcome” then she will reply with “whatever.” Refer to #8.
Okay now translate this: “Fine, whatever, go ahead and watch on the game for another five minutes, don’t worry about it, I’ll take out the trash.”
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