Were his eyes deceiving him? Every line he read was like being hit in the stomach, but he kept on reading. He knew his daughter wasn’t a little girl anymore, but he never imagined she’d take a different path than the one he laid out for her. He hoped this was just a bad dream. But even in his grief, he carried on and read the rest of the note. And once he was finished, everything had finally become quite clear.
When he started his day, Steve never imagined he’d wind up in this peculiar situation. In fact, his Sunday started out awesome. The New England Patriots happened to be his favorite football team, and they were playing in the Super Bowl LII against the Philadelphia Eagles. As a huge fan, he had made all the arrangements, because he had no intention of missing a second of the game. But there was one family member in his household that wasn’t as upbeat about the whole thing.
Steve has an only child named Anna. The 16-year-old girl and her father had always had a strong bond. In fact, he decorated her bedroom with football memorabilia, bought her the team’s jersey, and took her to Patriots games. When she was younger, Anna was as passionate about the Patriots as he was. But as she got older, her interests began to change. And in less than no time, she had started to lose interest in the Patriots.
Anna watched the Super Bowl game with Steve just like she promised she would. But she wasn’t into it. She used her phone to laugh at memes and to text her friends. This made Steve very sad, but he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he focused on the football game, but the Patriots weren’t doing so well this time. Actually, they were losing. The team managed a momentary victory in the 3rd quarter, but they were terrible. They lost to the Eagles 41-33, and Steve was wrecked.
Steve was on the couch with his head in his hands. 15 minutes had passed since the game ended, and he couldn’t believe the Patriots were defeated by the Eagles, who had never won a Super Bowl in their life. His Sunday was a mess. To make matters worse, Anna was nowhere in sight. So, he went looking for her to invite her to get ice cream. It wouldn’t solve his problem, but it would distract him for a little while. He went to his daughter’s bedroom.
Steve found it odd that Anna’s bedroom door was open. Since she became a teen, she often kept it closed. So, he walked in, but she was nowhere in sight. The entire house was silent too, so he wasn’t sure where she was. Then he noticed something on Anna’s bed. It was a handwritten letter. He started reading, but he was unprepared.
“Dear Mom and Dad, I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, but I’m eloping with my new boyfriend Muhammad.” Steve was stunned. He didn’t know Anna was seeing someone. “I’ve finally found true love, and he’s just great! I especially love his cute piercings, sexy scars, cool tattoos and his big motorcycle!” Steve began to panic. Was his little girl so far gone that she found a tattooed motorcyclist cute? But then, things got even scarier.
“And that’s not all,” said the letter. “I’m expecting a child with Muhammad, and I’m already four months pregnant. We’re going to settle down in his trailer, and he says that he wants even more children. I’m so happy!!! And guess what? We’re going to get married next week!” Steve’s heart fell out of his chest. He never thought that his 16-year-old daughter would become a teen mom, but the nightmare had just begun.
“Don’t worry about money – Muhammad’s friends Juan and Stanislav are in the movie business, and they’ve arranged for me to become an actress! The job pays pretty well, 50 dollars per take, and I get another 50 if there are more than three men in the same scene. So don’t worry about me – I’m 16 years old and can take care of myself. XOXO, Anna.” Steve couldn’t handle any more of this nightmare. Then, he read the end of the note.
Steve was horrified that he had lost his little girl. Then he read the last couple of lines at the bottom of the letter. “P.S. Dad, none of this is true – I only popped over to Emma’s place to watch some TV. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than The Patriots losing to The Eagles!” It took a moment for Steve to recover from what his daughter had done. And then it all became clear.
Steve fell on Anna’s bed and sighed with relief. Anna had frightened the living daylights out of him, but he learned a valuable lesson. Suddenly, he found himself laughing at his daughter's ingenuity. And he also realized that he didn’t care that the Patriots had lost the Super Bowl. Besides, his team won the championship five times. He knew they’d bounce back eventually. But he felt awful for letting it get to him. So, he paid his neighbor a visit.
Emma, the neighbors’ daughter, and Anna have been close friends since they were little girls. Steve wondered how Emma reacted when Anna told her what she’d done to her dear old dad. The truth was, he felt silly. He knocked, and then Anna and Emma greeted him. “Hey, girls,” he said, trying to sound calm and collected. “Want to go for some ice cream?” He waited for their response.
Anna and Emma giggled, and walked out to Steve’s car. Then Emma asked, “How was the game, Mr. Steve?” Then Steve replied, “We lost. But there are worse things in life.” Anna didn’t say a word. She just smiled. But Steve realized that she knew that her trick worked like a charm. And it turns out that she’s not the only teen to try this trick on someone.
A man walked by his son Josh’s room. Then he noticed that the dirty clothes on the floor were gone, and the room was tidy. This was a little odd. He knew his son well, so he walked into the room. On the bed, he found a letter written by his 15-year-old son. The note stated that his pregnant girlfriend, Stacy, had AIDS and that they were going to elope. But his postscript was more ingenious than Anna’s had been.
Much to his relief, Josh admitted to his dad that it was a lie. “I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table,” he wrote. “Call when it is safe for me to come home!” Josh had gotten bad grades, but his note diffused his father’s anger a bit. So, will this letter become a teenage trend?