Not fresh in the literal sense.
For whatever reason, quotation marks are one of the most overused and misused punctuation marks in the English language - people don't seem to understand that if you're not using them to demarcate dialogue, then you should probably only use them sparingly. Even worse is when people use their fingers to create air quotes when they're talking - we should probably just leave them on the page, right?
If you're familiar with that annoyed feeling one gets when someone excessively uses air quotes while speaking, you're going to be chockfull of eye rolls and discomfort when you read this list. As you can see, the presence of unnecessary quotation marks can change the entire meaning of what you're reading. The quotation marks in #34 make me downright nervous.
They know that you're single and alone.
Made by an "actual person."
At least they're being honest.
I knew what those old folks were doing wasn't really bingo.
Straightforward while simultaneously ominous.
Does not bode well for Five Guys.
Why can't they just come out and ask someone to water?
"We value your feedback."
Don't worry, it's just a huge "emergency."
Who is doing all this talking?
Sure, call it an eatery. It's also a "restaurant."
The lights only exist in your mind. It's a metaphor.
The person who typed up this sign was "sober."
Hypothetically here. Technically at home.
The guy that owns this place is the one who called them that.
What about "those" dumpsters?
At least someone took the time to say it themselves.
I can handle hypothetical fun, but not hypothetical food.
Isn't all insurance really just "insurance."
Don't worry, if you follow the directions, you'll be "fine."
This means it's only "open" if you know the secret password.