Getting older is funny. One day you wake up and you're sitting on your couch on a Friday night watching Netflix and getting ready for bed at 9:00. All of the things you enjoyed doing when you were in your twenties seem like nothing more than a distant memory. You spend more time avoiding your "friends" than actually answering the phone. When you finally answer, you act like your phone never rang at all. No more searching the city late at night looking for fun. Now all you do is search through the kitchen for food. If you're in your 30's or getting pretty close, here's what you need by the time you are 35, according to the funniest people on Twitter.
They all look alike anyways. I feel like you might need more than four shirts though.
"It's been too long. Let's hang out soon."
"I know. I miss the good times. Let's make plans for next weekend."
30 years later...
"He was a good man. I wish we would've hung out more."
They compliment your new glasses, suggest movies, and block you when they don't like your opinion.
Reality: You're sitting on the couch with your cat trying to get him to eat spaghetti.
Throw out that fork and buy some plastic sporks. That's all you really need anyways.
You can unfollow them without them knowing. Problem solved.
You really should get different bags, though. Plastic is bad!
The Tupperware company makes a killing because adults can't keep track of their stuff.
You probably never throw any away though. Your friend might need one next year.
You can't really help getting violent with the drawer.
I still have my platform shoes and smiley face shirt. Bring the 90s back, please.
Along with zip ties and masking tape.
And Marvel Comic's writer, Stan Lee, didn't start writing his most famous comics until he was 43. It's never too late to get started.